Look Back ルックバック

Why write? Why draw? Why create anything?

As I get older, I gotta pay bills, do my taxes, go to work, and also deal with the unforeseen yet inevitable tragedies that life brings. It’s hard enough to make time for myself. Why spend any portion of that precious free time in the painful process of creating something?

I watched the animated film “Look Back” in theatres last month in Japan, based on the one-shot manga by Chainsaw Man creator Tatsuki Fujimoto, about two small-town girls (Fujino & Kyomoto) with completely different personalities brought together by creating manga. It recently got an expanded release in the U.S., so I recommend checking it out in theaters if you get a chance.

The manga and the film got me thinking about those questions I mentioned. The works capture in a way, where words fail, that joy of creation. As if calling back to a past life when that passion was pure, a reminder of a past self that understood why.

Growing up for me seems to be a process of letting go, letting go of those patterns, those ideas that arrest me. But the film got me thinking that it’s important to also know what not to let go, and instead what I need to let grow.

When I look back on past James, with all his flaws and all the regrets…he’s still my number one fan. Like a ghost from the past, wishing me the best, even when I’m lost, even when I hate myself. Reminding me why.